Marshall Sylver's 5 appearances
on David Letterman
"Dave vs. Dave" by Fred Schruer
On a Friday evening in early April, as the Late Show is about to segue
from what's called Act 1 (comprising the monologue and a comedy bit) to
Act 2 (the Top 10 list, followed by the first guest), some marvelous
grotesquerie is about to erupt on the set. In a taped segment,
hypnotist Marshall Sylver puts various staffers under.
Biff Henderson, the cherubically pudgy and balding stage manager often
exploited in Late Show skits, is induced to perform an alarming Madonna
impersonation, complete with bleeped-out profanities, then is coached
in the absurdity of Dave's big paycheck. Asked if Dave is worth the
money, Biff snorts and tee-hees helplessly. This has all been seen on
videotape, but now onstage, Letterman, reminded that Biff can be put
under with one command, can't resist dimming Biff's lights just before
reading the Top 10 list. "Sleeeeep," says Dave, and Biff lists
sideways, jarring the camera. When Dave repeats it, Biff steps up
("like a punch-drunk boxer," Burnett will note) and slumps into the
first guest's chair in a trancelike sleep. Either that, we can see the
suddenly-not-chuckling Letterman thinking, or he's dead.
As Letterman says later, "I thought, 'Oh, well, you're screwing around,
his liver has exploded, and you're looking at a dead man here.'"
Upstairs in the seventh-floor offices, a staffer vaults into the room
saying, "Biff's really out! And Dave's really scared!" In the editing
room, images from several cameras bounce around amid near-panicky
chatter: "Add a minute twenty to the break!...Are we gonna can the top
10?... Get Sylver on the phone in Vegas!" Letterman, staring out toward
Burnett at the producer's podium, looks thoroughly rattled as he takes
Biff's pulse. "People will look at it," Letterman says now, "and say,
'Was he kidding? Was he pretending to be out? But I'm telling you,
during the commercial that we extended, it must have been like five
minutes, he didn't move nothin'. Didn't blink, didn't breathe hard --
nothing," Letterman's all-pro sang-froid coming out of the break is as
startling as what went before.
He tells the audience, "Biff, like many of our staff members, enjoys a
nice nap during the show," then takes Sylver's call. When the
thoroughly showbizzy Sylver tells Dave he's lucky to catch him between
shows in Vegas, Dave needles him ("We have a medical emergency, but I'm
glad things are going well for you there in Vegas") and wakes Biff up
per instructions. At his best, Letterman celebrates chaos. Would he
rather have a row of solid, topical, witty guests, or does he prefer
the giddy feeling you get near the edge of the cliff, when Madonna
starts spewing profanities, a dog craps on the stage or Biff suddenly
sleeps? "You always would rather have something haywire," says
Letterman. "You can only do the perfect show, you know, 80 times, and
then you realize, 'Yeah, it's perfect, but something unpleasant and
ugly and sloppy is more memorable.'
I think that our track record is about 50-50, where we can get
something out of it. So you do run a risk there. But it's hard to
orchestrate anarchy every night." "That hypnosis show was different, it
was totally out there," says Bill Carter, who wrote the Letterman-Leno
history The Late Shift while on his Times TV beat, then co-wrote the
HBO movie (which Letterman richly despised). "Maybe they need to do
stuff like that. That's what got them a reputation years ago."